Discussion about this post

User's avatar
Greg's avatar

Great metaphor for the times and possible human experience during this difficult times. I sometimes wonder is life just playing out for the viewer or is the viewer not just a receiver but a transmitter holding up reality, memory and the entirety of human existence. Like Jenga pieces where if you remove enough it all collapses in on itself unto the void of eternal darkness where those left ill-prepared would drift into insanity. Do some of those receiver/transmitters eventually get burnt out and need to be replaced? Is that why everything feels like and unstoppable chain of events that burns those individuals out? Is reality and memory just transmitted to receievers who then transmit those memories they assume are theirs into the reality field thus making all human history and the artificial reality we know of as life possible? Is that why it feels anything is possible and science is made a mockery of with impossibilities made possible and then rewritten as though it was always possible once enough data has been transmitted to give a foundation for the obvious? Hard to tell anymore.

It does remind me of times as a teenager when reading through 20th century history I had similar thoughts contemplating WW2 which can be said is the sole purpose for my awareness. Events not making much sense or seeming like laughable storytelling of inconsistencies along with an internal rage at whomever that this isn't how it happened with a succinct feeling like victory was already had just by analyzing the data. But then how did this come to be? Strange events happened as though being overwritten by this false reality of the world for reasons I still can't understand. Struggling to override it while also riding along with its narrative creating a nervous system disunity as though being overloaded with a hodgepodge of realities trying to synthesize a single one from them all.

I'd read every book on that period of time good or bad trying to find something and often would think to myself how the world can be rewritten if only the present knowledge was taken backwards in time.

Books like "How Hitler could've won WW2" seemed to synchronize with these thoughts back then and I became a dreamer wishing to turn back the wheels of time. I dreamed of it often that it sometimes felt real but alas some things are written and unchangeable it seems or it becomes a ripple effect that changes again and again with the same outcome to utter frustration creating its own loop. It's also very difficult to go backwards and be believed let alone change anything noteworthy as a result. Almost as if you need an army throughout space and time itself to anchor such a messaging system into place. I do have a feeling as though that loneliness wasn't always the case. Knowing others without thinking or remembering them. They could walk into a door and it's as though a couple seconds go by and it all comes to you effortlessly. I also remember the hollowness when they left trapped in my own corner or the void. Perhaps it'll all make sense. Maybe burning out was the point. Maybe you'll get relieved. At some point you go from caring to just fulfilling whatever purpose you've told yourself to simply be until you too have your mental processor burned out in such a fashion you could die standing before you hit the ground staring at its hardness like a pillow ready to shatter your face like your internal energy source feels dissipated. A death so absolute you can stare at the hard surface unable to think of even the pain or aftermath of coming face to face with a wall. You become immune to physical pain and fears if you're unable to focus on it and it's supposed expectation your mind then tells the body's censors.

Maybe to change the future one has to go through the past after glimpsing the results of continued paths and actions to change it. My fondest memories were dreaming of charging through the eastern front with endless light weight energy before being ripped apart by a shell. I dreamed other deaths but like Mad World, the dreams in which you're dying are the best I've ever had. No strange irony I stood over an unexploded IED with sad disappointment in this current existence. Does art imitate reality or vice versa? Perhaps it explains the feeling of everyone can enjoy their heaven. But blow me into a million million pieces and fuck off and leave me alone. I'm tired and just want some sleep in peace and quiet.

Expand full comment
Mike Kay's avatar

Tapping into a truth and a reality here, Muzzled.

It is something I think for all of us to come to terms with, the deepest assumptions concerning what it is to be human.

Rudolf Hess, in some of his last days of being unimprisoned, related his haunting vision of dead children. It was true, of course, so he set upon a path to try to change it. Today he is one of the most hated men who ever lived, which was his sentence for walking hand in hand with destiny.

Ultimately the question is raised, whether being human is an assumed state of incarnation or something more.

Expand full comment
5 more comments...

No posts