Temporary Cessation of Hostilities

Or: How I intend to embrace the void...

Dear esteemed readers, subscribers, and assorted digital wanderers who've somehow stumbled into this corner of the internet's increasingly deranged carnival — it is with great pleasure and only mild existential dread that I announce a brief intermission in our regularly scheduled programming.

Much like a medieval peasant who's just realised the Black Death might be less catastrophic than checking the morning news, your humble scribe requires a moment to retreat to the metaphorical monastery and engage in some aggressive meditation. Or drinking. Possibly both.

The world has reached such spectacular heights of absurdity that even Kafka would throw up his hands and say, "Right, that's quite enough reality for one lifetime, thank you very much."

Rest assured, this is not a permanent abandonment of our shared mission to document the slow-motion apocalypse with inappropriate humour and suspicious amounts of caffeine.

Think of it as a strategic withdrawal — much like the French army, but with better snacks and considerably less dignity.

While artificial intelligences debate whether they're sentient and billionaires argue over who gets to colonise Mars first (presumably to escape the mess they've made here), I shall be recharging my batteries and remembering what it feels like to exist without the constant background hum of civilisation gleefully unraveling.

Fear not — normal service will resume shortly, at which point we shall return to our regularly scheduled observations of this magnificent trainwreck we call modern life.

Until then, keep calm and carry on pretending everything is perfectly fine…